None of us were drunk. My two roommates and I started talking about anal sex. We reasoned that someone must have started it, so which sexual act came first?
We are all normally very argumentative, but we were genuinely curious. Therefore, we put together a myriad of questions - who discovered sexual acts first? What did they start with? Did they share with anybody else? Did Adam and Eve do it? Do we set the conversation in the Garden of Eden? - and we spoke for an hour. We offered possible insights and examples and I still remember the genuine excitement we had during this conversation. No one was defensive about their ideas, and when a new point was brought up, we changed our minds easily.
As silly as it sounds, I think we had an ideal explorative discussion about anal sex. So that was pretty cool. We were very efficient when no one was defensive or laid a claim over a personal idea. Just goes to show you the sheer level of productivity that you can have when you’re not trying to change anybody’s mind.
I want to write about this discussion as a significant intellectual experience for my college application.
linear-relationships said: Your blog is perfection, that's all I can say. You've got a fan from me! I adore this tumblr, I usually try my best to stay away from politics on this website but I'm following you for sure. I love everything you post, I find it very inspirational. I personally tried to start a side blog, in which I posted and replied to political posts, and it ended up turning out very badly. I received lots of hate messages and decided to let it go b/c I couldn't handle it. Well done 2 u darling you're strong.
Thank you for your kind words!
I’m sorry you received hate messages :/ I’ve received quite a few also and it really sucks when people ruin your blogging experience by being assholes!
Anonymous said: Even the original Koss study never said 1 in 4 women will be raped in college, but *by the time they enter college*. Only 30% of these 1 in 4 will happen during their college time.
That’s very true! Some campaigns have even cited “1 in 3” women will be raped in their lifetime, and I honestly can’t figure out where they got that.
Feminism is diverse.
And the Laci Green-watching young feminists don’t see the ugly parts.
I’ve read a lot about feminism and led a little class on it last year, and if there’s one thing I can say about feminism, it’s that the amount of head-butting and disagreement is extraordinary. There were disagreements all the way back to the first wave, and they became more and more prominent as time went on. You can’t possibly expect Wendy McElroy and Gloria Steinem to agree on the direction feminism should take, and I would pay good money to see a showdown between Naomi Wolf and Christina Hoff Sommers.
Yes, people are taught to associate feminism with negativity - but a lot of that is frankly the fault of feminists. You can’t say “feminism doesn’t promote misandry” when Valerie Solanas wrote the S.C.U.M Manifesto calling to kill all men. You can’t say “feminism is pro-sex and pro-women’s choice” when you see Tumblr users saying things like “you’re oppressing yourself by being a stay at home mother”. You can’t say “feminism fights for the right of men to be recognized” when Erin Pizzey, the woman to start the first women’s shelter in the UK, got death threats for trying to help men who are violated at the same rate. You can’t say “feminists stand up for male sexual assault victims” when “Men Can Stop Rape” is a campaign started by feminists that erases the existence of men victimized by women and perpetuates the male/perpetrator and female/victim paradigm.
I think we’re too attached to the feminist label. We think feminism is a criterion for being a good person, because who doesn’t want the dictionary definition of feminism? “Equality for all genders”. That’s the ideal feminist, though, and many feminists simply work against that very ideal whether they realize it or not. Furthermore, “equality” is hard and complex to arrive to because of decades and centuries of institutional inequality.
Modern young feminism is easy.
It’s easy to strawman anti-feminists as people who don’t understand feminism or who have been fed too many cherry-picked examples of extreme misandry. It’s easy to fight against a woman yelling “kill all men” in the streets. It’s easy to call out white middle-class feminists who throw their fellow women of colour under the bus.
It’s not so easy to recognize the problematic parts of “Men Can Stop Rape” and “Don’t Be That Guy” though, because a significant part of the population - including educated, intelligent, and passionate young women - believe the narrative put forth by those campaigns and don’t recognize the harm. It’s not so easy to recognize that “1 in 4 college women are raped” is the result of an irresponsible and purposefully biased study that - yes - victimizes women by telling them that they are in greater danger than they actually are. These ideologies are slowly shaping our world, because the number of protest-going feminists is growing in our schools. It’s even more frustrating because there are legitimate anti-feminists who actually hate women and want to police people according to gender roles. Does feminism fight against that? Yes! But then many modern feminists lump “anti-shitty parts of feminism” with “anti-women and anti-all genders” and dismiss all the arguments that contradict each other.
That’s why educated, intelligent, and passionate young women can oppose feminism. I do admire feminism for several aspects - it’s somehow taken the LGBTQ movement and race relations under its belt and educated a lot of young people who may have even more harmful ideology fed to them at home. It’s difficult, though, to figure out what exactly are the problematic parts and to weed them out. That’s also why anti-feminist feminists exist - to police a movement that has history and potential. At this rate, it’s probably easier to just build a different boat and sail under “egalitarian”.
allaboard-the-hogwarts-express said: I've just discovered your blog and your opinions reflect mine 100% congrats on having an awesome brain :) :)
Aha, thanks! Glad to hear that you agree with me!